Incomplete loss permeates every facet of your life. At times, it’s clear how the loss affects the ability for you to deal with challenges, and you understand the loss to be a weak link in a linear chain of events. If you fix the link, the chain will become stronger. It’s not until you start working on completing the loss that you realize that it’s more like a crack in the foundation of your being. The weakness is debilitating and far-reaching. Grief recovery, in giving you the tools to complete your loss, allows you to strengthen your foundation and live life truly and simply. It’s more than a healing, it’s a realization.
Once I shed weight of sadness, guilt and painful memories, I felt a lightness of being. The mental clarity that has stayed with me, has allowed me to live my most present, authentic life. I am the best version of myself.
While I am a strong advocate of the Grief Recovery program, I am an even bigger cheerleader for Anne Keeton. She is genuine, compassionate, completely non-judgmental and incredibly easy to talk to. She makes a difficult process easier, and becomes invested in your healing, well-being, and your independence. She is there to hold your hand, to stand next to you, to stand behind you, and in the end, to cheer her heart out for you. She was made to do this, and I feel fortunate to have been guided on my journey by her.
I love you, Annie. Thank you for helping me become better: a better mother, a better wife, a better daughter, a better sister, a better friend, and a better self. I deserve this. We all do.
-S.K.
For years I had carried around and had been crippled by my anger towards my father for the times in my childhood when he had disregarded my feelings and had hurt me deeply. Through therapy I was somewhat about deal with my anger, but it was still there. Mostly I could ignore it, but at times I would have to face into this pain. Grief Recovery provided a process to get COMPLETELY free from the anger I had for my father. I cry with happiness just thinking about being able to talk about my dad without the crippling feelings of pain and anger shadowing my stories about him. Thoughts of how I didn’t measure up to his expectations no longer come creeping in. My father was a wonderful person and father in many ways; he made mistakes and deeply hurt me – but I have been set free! I can freely love him without inner conflict.
-E.J
I highly recommend working with Anne Keeton. In June of 2009, I found out that I was pregnant. My husband and I were nervous but so excited. We went to the first ultrasound in July, and everything was great. At 11 weeks, we announced the pregnancy to family and friends. A few days later, we returned to the doctor for our second ultrasound and were so excited to see how the baby was growing. It was at that ultrasound where we received the terrible news that I had experienced a “missed” miscarriage, where the baby’s heart stopped beating for some unknown reason a few weeks before, but there was no bleeding to alert me to the miscarriage. I went into that appointment full of excitement and left in tears. I had to have a D&C a few days later, and I was devastated. However, I had a hard time connecting with my feelings about the miscarriage and about the baby. I felt very sad but knew intellectually that the chances of miscarriage were great at my age (38), and that one miscarriage didn’t necessarily suggest a problem for future pregnancies. I think I was so intent on “keeping my chin up” that I refused to acknowledge the loss as a loss of a baby. Additionally, my husband was sympathetic but seemed to be able to get past the miscarriage more easily than I could. For instance, he seemed able to conceptualize going back to being a happy, childless couple. I couldn’t go back in my mind.
A few months after the miscarriage, I was still having problems emotionally, and I agreed to a coaching session with Anne. During that session, Anne walked me through various scenarios and imagery in order to help me connect with my grief. I was shocked at how much I connected with that grief. I sobbed and sobbed during the session. Through the work with Anne, I was able to come to grips with the enormity of the miscarriage in my life. Before I got pregnant, I was on the fence about being a mother, but I was able to realize through the session that I became a mother as soon as I became pregnant. As such, the idea of not being a mother anymore was devastating for me. Anne helped me realize that I continued to be a mother, in spite of the miscarriage. Connecting to that grief and sense of loss enabled me to move on. It also helped me understand my continued pain and grief, and to be gentle with myself, when it took me a good while to get pregnant again. (Which I finally did – my husband and I now have a 6-month-old daughter whom we absolutely adore!) Anne was amazing at helping me get to the feelings that I was hiding even from myself. I highly recommend her services and would be happy to speak with anyone who is considering hiring her to help with coaching surrounding pregnancy loss and/or infertility. — Katy P.
Grief to Relief made me very aware of how I address the issue of “loss” with my children. Like most parents, I want the absolute best for my kids, and the class showed me that how I am currently dealing with loss and how I am teaching my kids to deal with grief is definitely not “the best.” Like most people, I have been conditioned through my own upbringing and societal norms to “put on a brave front” or be dismissive when faced with grief-my own or others. The Grief to Relief class shined a light on how damaging that approach can be.
Learning to gloss over, discount or just not deal with very real, legitimate emotions prevents us from processing our grief in a timely manner which means we carry that grief around for potentially the rest of our lives; definitely not a pattern any parents would want to pass on to their kids.
With Grief to Relief, I learned better verbiage to acknowledge whatever emotions my children are experiencing as well as learning how to teach them to “self-treat” their own grief which is a skill that can reap significant rewards as they grow to adulthood.
-M.R.
I had struggled for most of my life with longing for my mother who died when I was 13. Therapy helped with healing, as did life coaching, but the aching and longing and sense of the whole process still being unfinished still lingered. It was not until I did grief recovery with Anne that it shifted. A couple of months ago, after I completed the process, I realized I simply feel calmer. The aching and longing are gone, and the process feels complete. I still miss Mama sometimes and certainly think of her, but the pain has subsided. I am so grateful to Anne and the grief recovery process for helping me heal. - Elizabeth M.
Recovery from grief is like finding more hours in the day. Time spent focusing on personal sadness and loss is time you can be doing something else like helping others or doing something fun for yourself. Is that selfish? Not at all. Since your thoughts create your experiences, letting go of sad and hurtful thoughts will get rid of negative experiences. What if the apostles were crippled with grief after the death of Jesus? He would have been very disappointed in them.
-S.E.
I certainly know that doing the grief work has cleared the way in my heart and mind to see more of what relationships I need and don’t need in my life! I finally don’t feel desperate to find the right man or even to have a man in my life…maybe for the first time ever. I feel much more relaxed about when or if that will even happen. Not to say I might not like to think that it will… if it’s meant to be. In the meantime, I’m enjoying my life and freedom, one day at a time.
-E.B.
I feel like I’ve lost weight and gained muscle. I went to Kroger yesterday and came out to the pouring rain. Instead of running with my cart, I just walked, splashed in the water with my flip flops. I was smiling ear to ear. Then today at swim team practice, I felt so comfortable in my skin. It’s hard to put it in words. But my body feels stronger and less achy (back, knee, neck, etc.). Just FREE of pain – physical and emotional. I’m super cautious, though. But like you said, I did something REALLY different this year, which means SOMETHING will change
It’s not a question of if you have baggage, because we all do in one form or another. The real question is, do you let it bury you, or do you stand above it? Having done the Grief Recovery Method, I would recommend it for everyone, yes everyone, even the ones who think everything is just “fine.” You’ll be happy you did. — Patrik C.
I am a Christian. I thought that if I prayed hard enough and went to church and Sunday school, I could avoid bad things happening to me. So when they did, I thought God had abandoned me. What I didn’t realize was He was trying to get my attention. I survived a long list of major life losses by the time I was 40. It wasn’t until after a failed suicide attempt, that I was forced into therapy for years to try to fix my life. It didn’t. Then Anne came into my life and I, and I found God again (though Grief to Relief is not religious). It was all part of His plan to bring us together. I needed her to show me how to resolve all my feelings of grief by going back to the beginning…something no therapist had ever done. It works! Now I’m completely recovered, I have the tools I need to face the future loss events, and I am closer to God than I’ve ever been in my life. I owe it all to Anne! She’s a true lifesaver!
-Lisa
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Certified Grief Recovery Specialist & Life Coach